im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
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god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights