Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2968) Bad night (897)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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  (732): It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/fjdb
  Replies (25) Good night (722) Bad night (5026)
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  (530): View more from California

  the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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  (530): the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo http://tfl.nu/dqpo
  Replies (25) Good night (10700) Bad night (1308)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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  (404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7
  Replies (45) Good night (26203) Bad night (1513)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5983) Bad night (1223)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!

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  (319): She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?! http://tfl.nu/73w6
  Replies (5) Good night (1308) Bad night (3139)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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  (407): and now there are teeth marks on my dick. http://tfl.nu/97y3
  Replies (17) Good night (1380) Bad night (5742)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.

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  (412): We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you. http://tfl.nu/7kee
  Replies (2) Good night (1257) Bad night (639)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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  (813): EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order? http://tfl.nu/uphg
  Replies (29) Good night (3945) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.

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  (608): I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh. http://tfl.nu/0i8s
  Replies (17) Good night (628) Bad night (1825)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.

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  (239): Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day. http://tfl.nu/tiwu
  Replies (6) Good night (1103) Bad night (679)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish there were birth control emojis

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  (918): I wish there were birth control emojis http://tfl.nu/p00p
  Replies (16) Good night (622) Bad night (927)
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  (818): View more from California

  So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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  (818): So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway http://tfl.nu/rhtw
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?

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  (314): Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does? http://tfl.nu/d7kp
  Replies (5) Good night (380) Bad night (719)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!

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  (512): Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it! http://tfl.nu/uy3p
  Replies (8) Good night (1459) Bad night (355)

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