yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...