allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing