If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?