im having a threesome with these popsicles
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.