ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
