spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
