I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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