I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize