my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
