it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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