Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
