it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
