oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
