I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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