Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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