You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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