What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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