i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
