I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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