Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
