remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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