First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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