have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
