I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
