my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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