bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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