There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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