Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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