you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
