Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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