rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
