Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
