why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize