ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

  Fav 9 2159 820

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

  Fav 22 2077 4245

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

  Fav 40 3508 935

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.

  Fav 32 4643 1144

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious

  Fav 31 6468 1241

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...

  Fav 14 4555 1655

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"

  Fav 17 9466 1634

  share tweet
  

• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

  Fav 9 2473 1494

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.

  Fav 5 1491 670

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.

  Fav 2 2075 762

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.

  Fav 7 1025 1744

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

  Fav 14 1563 1396

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

  Fav 3 927 492

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

  Fav 3 947 512

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.

  Fav 2 596 276

  share tweet
  

Randomize