Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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