she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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