David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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