Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
