have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
