Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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