people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
