I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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