What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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