We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
