problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
