Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
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He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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