Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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