Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
