Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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