Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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