hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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