remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
