They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
