you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
