the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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