you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
