who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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