Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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