I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize