My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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