Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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