You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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