whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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